Guide to life
When bouncers grab you, go limp
A good luthier is worth their weight in gold
So many drummers, so little time
If someone wants to pay you three hundred quid for a half hour set, let them
Take a spare - You never know
Don't drink and dial
Just go for it
Wear earplugs. Wear earplugs. Wear earplugs.
The Bass. Capital T Capital B
Turn the desk on first, then the amps
Turn the amps off first, then the desk
It's worth learning some scales. Sorry.
If you know the key and the tempo, you can give it a go
If you can't afford it, you can't have it
Don't put drinks on top of amps. Ever
Save the cheerleader - save the world
A peanut isnt a nut, its a legume
A little bit of kick and snare drum in your monitor can be useful
Trust your instincts
Measure twice, cut once
You can't polish a turd
But you can stick a flag in it
You are not what you wear
Befriend the bar staff
Take a book
Listen first, then play
If you can walk you can dance
If you can talk you can sing
Rodeohead is a work of genius
The canonicity of spin-off media is unclear
Put your CDs back in their boxes
Why? Why not?!
Bowed harmonics sound weird
Clarinet & flute players usually keep a packet of Rizla in their cases
If it wasn't horrendously difficult and painful, you did it wrong
Some people can lick their elbows
A Confederacy of Dunces is the best book ever
Life isnt like the movies
If it sounds right, it is right
Tea, pretty strong, not much milk, no sugar
New strings make all the difference
Invest in good quality leads
Listen to your singer when s/he's singing, but not when s/he's talking
Happy endings are a myth
The Lion might be the king of the jungle, but nobody messes with the elephant
Phone your mum
Nothing has the wow factor of a Double Bass
Except possibly a Stick
Gaffa tape all your leads to the stage
When carrying a Double Bass up stairs, go backwards
Tell the sound engineer if you use feedback (or they might try and get rid of it)
If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always got
Ernie Ball Super Slinkys 45-100
Choose life - Choose PHP
Any idiot can play the guitar. It takes a special kind of idiot to play The Bass
Hook your lead through your strap
Gaffa tape is brilliant
If you're playing Double Bass in your New Rocks, set the endpin higher
Plug one end of a lead into an amp and touch the other. The noise it makes is a G
Halfwound strings are kinder to your fretless fingerboard than roundwounds
Bad things happen when good people do nothing
Be nice to sound engineers
If you own a cat, check your shoes for dead mice before you put them on
Sometimes you're the pigeon, and sometimes you're the statue
Pay in cash and haggle - you might get a discount
Hartnell. Troughton. Pertwee. Baker T. Davison. Baker C. McCoy. McGann. (Hurt). Eccleston. Tennant. Smith. Capaldi. Whittaker.
Get a good drummer. Then listen to them
Don't eat silica gel
Everything's bigger in the Bass department
Two wheels good four wheels bad
If you don't ask, you don't get
If you have to use pliers to remove bridge pins, put a towel inbetween them
Aim for the eyestalk!
There are two secrets to good comedy. The first is always leave them wanting more.