Guide to life
Everything's bigger in the Bass department
Invest in good quality leads
Listen to your singer when s/he's singing, but not when s/he's talking
Get a good drummer. Then listen to them
Hartnell. Troughton. Pertwee. Baker T. Davison. Baker C. McCoy. McGann. (Hurt). Eccleston. Tennant. Smith. Capaldi. Whittaker.
A peanut isnt a nut, its a legume
Hook your lead through your strap
Life isnt like the movies
If you know the key and the tempo, you can give it a go
Measure twice, cut once
Happy endings are a myth
It's worth learning some scales. Sorry.
A good luthier is worth their weight in gold
Any idiot can play the guitar. It takes a special kind of idiot to play The Bass
Trust your instincts
Tell the sound engineer if you use feedback (or they might try and get rid of it)
Choose life - Choose PHP
Some people can lick their elbows
You are not what you wear
Sometimes you're the pigeon, and sometimes you're the statue
Clarinet & flute players usually keep a packet of Rizla in their cases
Two wheels good four wheels bad
Don't eat silica gel
The Bass. Capital T Capital B
Ernie Ball Super Slinkys 45-100
When bouncers grab you, go limp
Don't drink and dial
Put your CDs back in their boxes
Nothing has the wow factor of a Double Bass
Except possibly a Stick
The Lion might be the king of the jungle, but nobody messes with the elephant
Halfwound strings are kinder to your fretless fingerboard than roundwounds
Take a spare - You never know
If you can't afford it, you can't have it
If you have to use pliers to remove bridge pins, put a towel inbetween them
Aim for the eyestalk!
If someone wants to pay you three hundred quid for a half hour set, let them
Befriend the bar staff
Wear earplugs. Wear earplugs. Wear earplugs.
New strings make all the difference
If you do what you've always done, you get what you've always got
Why? Why not?!
So many drummers, so little time
Listen first, then play
Tea, pretty strong, not much milk, no sugar
A Confederacy of Dunces is the best book ever
The canonicity of spin-off media is unclear
Just go for it
Turn the amps off first, then the desk
Gaffa tape is brilliant
Be nice to sound engineers
Plug one end of a lead into an amp and touch the other. The noise it makes is a G
Bad things happen when good people do nothing
You can't polish a turd
But you can stick a flag in it
If you're playing Double Bass in your New Rocks, set the endpin higher
Bowed harmonics sound weird
Phone your mum
If it wasn't horrendously difficult and painful, you did it wrong
Turn the desk on first, then the amps
Take a book
When carrying a Double Bass up stairs, go backwards
If it sounds right, it is right
Gaffa tape all your leads to the stage
Pay in cash and haggle - you might get a discount
If you own a cat, check your shoes for dead mice before you put them on
Don't put drinks on top of amps. Ever
If you don't ask, you don't get
Save the cheerleader - save the world
A little bit of kick and snare drum in your monitor can be useful
If you can walk you can dance
If you can talk you can sing
Rodeohead is a work of genius
There are two secrets to good comedy. The first is always leave them wanting more.